"Next". The new English teacher said. She was known to be a very strict one with the shortest fuse for indiscipline.
Ram Kumar a.k.a. RK stood up for his turn.
"Kurmaa!", somebody yelled. Ram Kumar turned his head to know who was its source. His face was red. But the damage had already been done.
Entire class was in giggles. Even the teacher couldn't help but smile. "Keep quite" was all she managed to say. "Come on RK. So what is your chosen topic?" It was the elocution competition, and the participants had to choose their own topic for a change. Generally, teachers used to select the topics and restrict the choice to three - "Television - Boon or Bane", "India of My Dreams", and "Father of the Nation". But this time around, this new teacher, had different plans.
"Television - Boon or Bane? madame". Kurmaa muttered, and at the same time there were sounds of palms hitting foreheads.
"Are you asking me? It is a bane! Go ahead." She certainly was not answering his question, and the students sitting knew it, but RK being Kurmaa didn't. There were some "puf puf's", as Kurmaa noticed some bodies shaking, with eyes watering the cheek and hands trying to cover the source of all those "puf puf's".
Kurmaa started his monotone. "Televeeshun - Boooooooooon or Baine, by Ram Kumar". "Puf Puf's" were replaced by loud laughter. But nothing could deter RK. He completed his piece, he has been performing for the past six years in all elocution competitions. He was not going to change the topic at his High School level.
Shwetha, Shalini and Pratibha had prizes to carry home. Kurmaa had an hour of advice to recollect. He was asked to select something befitting his age, and most importantly was asked to grow up fast.
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The next friday, it was Solo Singing Competition. Half the guys, as usual, had chickened out, citing bad throat. The real male stallions had already decided that it was a "girl thing" to sing solo, and the real "in thing" was group song. This effectively meant that but for two guys (called the 'chicks'), every body else had a reason not to take part. Therefore, these two guys had to take part. And Kurmaa was one of them.
As to the girls, but for two, everybody thought that they were the next Lata. Therefore, the fifteen of them took part. The remaining two, wanted to, but considering public affection and feedfronts, decided to give others a chance (to live)!
Among the 17 participants, Kurmaa had just one point to prove, that he was RK - Real Kewl Dude, and not the RK - Ram 'The Kurmaa' Kumar. All because of that one mistake of misspelling his name some four years before. He wanted to prove how wrong the English Teacher was in insulting him. He wanted to prove that he was no kid, but a grown up man with a 12 1/2 inches biceps. He wanted to prove that he was far more modern than rest of his class. He wanted to prove that he was no chick who will chicken out, but THE MAN who will stand for anything. He therefore wanted to prove that he was THE MAN for Pauline. He wanted to prove that he had only one point to prove. And somehow he had to prove it.
While the fairer sex had Ghazals, Carnatic Songs and Light Melodies to keep them company, the other half of the "Chicks" had chosen a Hindi Patriotic Song. Kurmaa had to be different, for he was a dude, which nobody was in the class. He decided to sing a English song.
He chose Michael Jacksons "Heal the World" - Perfect, he felt. For it was the only English Song, utterly-butterly modern, fittingly for a dude like him, a 'soft' song, a English Song (easiest way to impress the Anglo-Indian beauty Pauline, he was convinced). And he practised it hard.
During the classbreaks, he practised the song with the twin objective of improving his image (only to Pauline) and also sending shivers down the spines of his opponents. As he sung "Make it a Better Place", the pitch in "Better" was mistaken for braying by most of his classmates. Pauline smiled and it motivated him. And he brayed further. Pauline laughed, and he brayed harder, and as Pauline's laughter shook the entire table, the braying subdued.
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It was the day of the event. The other half of the "Chicks" was suddenly experiencing palpitations. He was sweating. The Doctor in him, adviced him to stay away from stressful activities such as singing to bring down the heartbeats, and the patient in him concurred. It was left to Kurmaa to uphold the image of the boys. He was all too glad for that to happen. For he was very sure of his victory.
"Next". The new but strict English teacher said, again.
Ram Kumar a.k.a. stood up, as the Kewl Dude, for his turn. He was the last participant. Somebody once again yelled Kurmaa, and RK - The Kurmaa turned his head to know who was its source. As always, the damage had already been done. It motivated him.
He slowly started his song, in a flatness matched only by Himesh's modulation.
"There is a Place, In Your Haartt." He was shaking his head with his eyes closed. He was in a trance.
"And I know iteez Luv." He opened his eyes directly at Pauline, who was shaking with her head down. And so it went. He then continued and completed his songs with thunderous claps to keep him company, till he went back to his seat.
"And I thought, the Elocution competition got over last week?" the English Teacher's final observation, caused a quite a shake, as couple of Band Aids found their way, for even the earth was in splits!
Comments
I could remember my first participation in culturals. It was during my 11 in school. Elocution competition I guess. I bagged the second prize. But the point is there were only four participants. all my friends commented oosi (free) prize. But truly, if I can draw a line and say .... From this my life really shaped, it is that win. It gave me lot of confidence... Atleast to be present in the stage. After that I won back to back two prizes, comparatively good participants were present that too with a kind of high knowledge in english I have (you know)..
Nice post sir. I think for your ramkumar also that must be the starting point.
Regards,
Southern King.
This was too good!
All through the post, I was trying to anticipate, what is that you'll expect the reader to learn from Ram Kumar (sic). But good, you left it unsaid! I know, I'm not going to try to "Heal the World"--not through my singing at least ;)
I'd to literally get up from the floor to laugh 'properly'. Now don't ask me what I was doing on the floor. I was in the same pit as Ram Kumar!
I suffer from terrible stage-fright, when I get on the stage, that is! But, but, my vain mind would have me believe, I've done decent enough job on those occasions.
In my tenth standard, I'd decided to participate in the elocution competition, and my chosen topic was something about Kargil war. I'd chosen to participate, only because the previous year contestants were allowed to 'read' their speeches. So, the next year I was game for it, and to my utter shock no such luxury was extended this year. So, I was absolutely determined I'll not go out to speak when name would be announced. But then, when my name was announced, I was literally pushed before the spectators (yes, calling them audience would be insult of their abilities to be disruptive).
So, I'd started with the speech, and my lack of preparation--we were given two hours to write, memorize and practice our speech, of which, last 30 min each were spent getting shocked at the revelation ("no reading!") and thinking of most gracious way to flee, my innate inability to memorize and my fear made me forget my speech! I requested the judges to give me another chance, and this time I did complete the speech, but in anything, but confident manner. I won the third prize, maybe because I'd taken a hard stand making clear that we couldn't have peaceful relations with our neighbor till THEY stopped sponsoring terrorism across border, which was in contrast with others ranting about universal peace (piss!) and brotherhood!
But the event didn't do anything particularly great to my on-stage confidence. :(
Really well written!
TC.
This post, as with all my posts under "Sitting on the Brains" are part fiction, part fact. Some my experiences, some others. Some heard, some seen first hand. As to what happened to Ram Kumar, even I don't know. For there is no one called Ram Kumar.
As to the starting point, for many people, being on stage was their ending point! Glad to know that your starting point was one such event.
Ketan
These posts are not meant to be anything more than to have a good laugh. As to any implied "message" through any of the characters, none that I know of exists, unless something happens unintentionally.
Talking on stage fear, once due to sheer fear, I repeated a sentence twice for an Independence Day speech. While repeating it, I realized my mistake, and this realization made me pitch it a big higher. I thought I had goofed up. At the end of the speech, couple of my school teachers appreciated me on my modulating abilities and thoughtfulness to improvise by quoting the same sentence!
Cheers