Skip to main content

The New King

"Afridi comes from an era, a cricketing culture, where ball-tampering is considered a normal cricket activity, the done thing on flat Pakistani pitches - an art form and not a sin. It's been a part of the Pakistan team's standard operating procedure." Ramiz Raaja in ""


"Normal cricket activity!" "Standard Operating Procedure" and "An art form!!!!!"

What's this hare-brainer upto these days? If this is "normal cricket activity", I wonder what they call bowling and batting and fielding as. Standard operating procedure?!!!! Of Pakistan's team... Figures... Yeah! It figures........

And art form? Know what? Art is what Mr. Ramiz Raja does.The ultimate artiste if ever there is one, it is him. His 'artistic' way of speaking and supporting a 'Pakistani' cause, has remained fabulous as ever.

Was reminded of his commentary in a match at Sharjah between India and Pakistan. All Rounder Agarkar was having one of his rare 'ball' days, pitching and pacing it correct. Getting the line correct and bowling aggressively. Imran Nazir batting trying to slog everything to America, including air that flew around his bat. His bat speed was sucking the entire air around the ground, and sending them as a Mini Katrina along the American shores, even as vacuum was getting created. He trying very hard to connect to the ball, so that he can have his share in it.

Then came the magical 'ball'. Pitched just short of length, perfect line. Nazir had already comedown till the sightscreen to show respect to the ball. Jabbed the ball in a graceful way matched only by Dharmendar's dance moves. Ball slowly moved to mid on, where a pair of safe hands caught Imran's ball. As if the comedy wasn't over, came Rameez Raja, roaring like a true patriot, sounding at the same time very generous of the praise for the "Indias Greatest Allrounder", the "It was a good ball. But Imran too should be credited. He managed to meddle the ball."

Got the point?

How can one be so obtuse, stupid and belligerently jingoistic to the extent of discarding any sense? In the guise of being patriotic, how can one discard objective judgement and defend the non-defendable or worse 'not-be-defendable'? We, Indians, have our own set of commentators who indulge in such "Patriotic" activities, but to this extent, have very rarely seen anybody feeding bollocks.

But, wtf? Though it angers me to see such ridiculous analysis and statements, I certainly smiled and laughed in equal measure at such 'ingenous' and 'artistic' expressions. Keept it up Raja. Atlast Sixer Sidhu has a match in you.


Ketan said…
Hey Saimukundhan, though I've not watched the said match, or at least don't remember it, reading the description I felt possibly Raja was merely being sarcastic. Or do you distinctly remember him trying to give the batsman some credit?

But yes, I remember him as the most stupid English commentator. He tries too hard to flaunt his vocabulary. Not sure about Raja, but I think Sidhu indulges in stupidity deliberately to maintain a certain kind of image. He was a hot property when he first decided to contest for elections. And if I remember it correctly, he had negotiated everything in perfect business-like manner.

Am not sure, if Raja is telling us the secret behind the success of Akram and Waqar! ;) Which should then mean that ball tampering oops pampering is a dying art in Pakistani cricket! :D
G Saimukundhan said…
HI Ketan,

Sarcasm?! Raja? Impossible. He has no idea what that means or how to do that. He was honest in his words. He meant everything he said.

Wasim and Waqar were too good by the bowling standards that one sees today. They might have indulged in ball tampering. But they were still damn good. Wasim in particular, has been my favourite for a longtime.

"Ball Pampering". That was nice.


Popular posts from this blog

Open Letter to the President, ICAI

Dear President,
The substance of this letter is the state of examination and evaluation system of our Institute's qualifying exams. The recently declared result is just the tipping point, and not the substance of this letter. Let this communique not be misconstrued as demanding a revamp merely because the results have been pathetically low. This open letter would have probably been drafted still, even if the results threw out an extremely student friendly outcome of say 100% Pass.
Before I move on to present my points, I would like to state that I have been a firm believer of assertion that you get only what you deserve. A person who got "100 Marks" deserved that "100 Marks". And a student who got "0 Marks", deserved that as well. As someone who got both the above extremes during my academic days, I have maintained the above assertion with a certain degree of understanding and conviction.
I also would like to make it clear right at the outset that, I ten…

Rebooting AdZap

Two years back, In an inter-school competition I had gone to judge the AdZap event, I could see that the quality had not at all improved over the period since I was a college student taking part in such events. It was the same mimicry stuff imitating some actors, or doing some rap stuff for promoting a product. The influence of movies and sports was immense. It was the same "brand-ambassador-sermon" kind of ads that was thrown at the judges. There was absolutely no originality or creativity. The entire tamasha sounded so stale that I was literally searching for fresh air. Realizing at the same time, how stupid and juvenile our performances would have been then.
If the performance was stale, the format of the event was more mind numbing. It had not changed at all! Atleast the performance of the students had new cine stars being imitated and latest movie dialogues being mouthed, whereas the formats and rules for the event had not undergone one bit of a change. The same one minu…

Cacophony of Silence

Today: The security raised his hands to signal good evening, and Edward slowed down his bike and reciprocated. Parked his bike and noticed certain bunch of covers and envelopes in the mail box, picked them and climbed up the stairs without removing his helmet. Telephone bill, credit card statements, some investor magazines, couple of covers from watch shops and garment dealers, three wedding invitations.
He pressed the buzzer and his dad opened the door. "How was the day?" "Good, pa." He handed over the envelopes to his dad, ambled to his room. Helmet was placed on the cot, back pack thrown besides the computer table, shoes came sliding to the main door from his room, socks and shirts found their way to the washing machine. He wore a shorts and a tee and came out of the room, asking for dinner to his ma. "Wash your face atleast." Mother pleaded from the kitchen. "Atleast wipe it clean of the sweat and dirt." Edward went into the kitchen. Held his moth…