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GSMs Theory of Reading Maps and Distances


"The inspiration for Einstein for his findings on gravity was an apple that fell on his head while resting under a tree." I remember reading somewhere. Or being told by somebody.

Greater things are understood and greatness realized in certain occasions which are often termed weird and strange.

This piece of post which will throw new insight into the way we should travel to save time and minimize cost, in these days of high fuel prizes and low economic growth. Findings contained in this post are copyrighted, infringement of which, knowingly or unknowingly, will result in the reverse of this wonderful theory being applied on the violator.

I realized this great knowledge and the secret key to economic prosperity, which is presented to you in the form of GSMs Confused Theory of Reading Maps and Distances and Travel Techniques.

Look at the above map. Delhi is in the North, Madras aka Chennai is in the South. Bombay aka Mumbai is in the West, while Calcutta aka Kolkotta is in the East.Thats finding number one. Thanks. Thanks. I can already see people whistling. (This also reminds me of one of my earlier day confusions. How come "West" Bengal is in the East?) This is not the theory though.

Chennai to Delhi is approximately 2100 Kms by road and a couple of hundred kilometres less by air. Delhi to Chennai is also 2100 kms by road and a couple of hundred kilometres less by air. Finding Number Two = Distance between two places remains the same wherever you start from. Hey you there, close your mouth.. Greater things are yet to come. 

Chennai (South or Bottom) to Delhi (North or Top) will take longer duration for traveling than Delhi to Chennai. Reason? Law of Gravity. Einstein found out. GSM applied. (Btw, was it Einstein?) Law of Gravity should be read as "Anything on the top, can fall down easily to the bottom. Anything on the bottom, takes time to reach the top." (It ain't philosophy. Its Einstein's Law of Gravity Revisited). Don't you faint now! 


For those who don't understand, let me explain with an example. You have a glass of water in front of you. Can the water come quickly to your mouth if it is below your mouth. However, if you take the glass above your head and slightly tilt, it will fall into your mouth. Doesn't it take a longer to drink a softdrink using a straw, than drinking it by gulping directly by turning the bottle upside down? See, now you understand.


Therefore, Chennai to Calcutta takes longer than Calcutta to Chennai. If you want to travel to Calcutta / Delhi from Chennai, just tilt the earth a bit, well not exactly 'a bit', but 'many bits' greatly to make it hang upside down, and you'll be reaching your destination very very soon.


For all the real world Einsteins out there, Newton is gunning for you.


Thats the end of GSMs Theory of Reading Maps and Distances. I have a doubt, which can form the basis for all the future researchers. How to travel from Chennai to Bangalore, which are almost at the same height(!!!) on the map?

Comments

Ketan said…
Hahaha!

You can travel from Chennai to Banglore on your Bullet. Remember, your Bull defies all laws of gravity! ;)
Travellin from Chennai to Bangalore:
Option No.1: Take a map, tilt to the left, so that now Chennai lies at the top and Bangalore at the bottom, then start travelling.. gravity will catch up.
Option No.2: Hook up with a girl / boy in Bangalore, so that as per relativity (Newton's another theory) it takes relatively a shorter span of time, if you travel towards your girl friend, than towards let us say, school.
P.s. To be wrong,
Option 3: Relativity would also work like this in any other fictional world: "Travel Faster than the speed of light, so that you ll be younger than when you started off with", which means you would have gained time, hence gained "savings in Cost" as well!!, Hence greater income and greater economic growth!!
Shravana said…
Sir, u post yet another entertaining reading. How do u sound so convincing when u say Einstein discovered gravity? My friend just now violently denied that Newton was the discoverer of gravity!! (possibly becoz he is my friend?)

@msp dai. nee therinju panriya theriyama panriya nu theriyala. My assimilation rate of ur comment is 1/3.. PaathukO!!
G Saimukundhan said…
@ Ketan,

Though my Bull defies all laws of gravity, I don't. With me on the seat, I sometimes wonder if I have pinned the Bull down by taming it!

@ MSP

Enna kodumai idhu? You too brutus! (Newton and Theory of Relativity?). Girl and making us go faster... Hmm.. Good.. What about this theory? When I eagerly wait to meet the girl, won't time go slow? Idhu eppadi irukku.

@ JRSD

Truth is always easier to explain. Thats why I sound so convincing.

Cheers
N said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
N said…
were u alone in offic tat day??!!:)
Sundar Raman said…
Dandanakka Reading this!!!

Travel from bangalore to chennai will be faster..when compared with chennai to bangalore (I can conclude logically !!!!)how?

Simple!! See..."B" ku aparam dhanae "C" varudhu!!! First B then down comes C. (Source: vijay TV Thangavel numerology map guide!!!)
G Saimukundhan said…
@N(aveen)

Actually I wasn't at office. If I were at office, I would have definitely gotten hold of my prey to listen to my rants / ramblings / theories. I was travelling between two places some 1000 kms away from Chennai. Thats when this glorious idea dawned on me.

@ Sundar Raman

Good. You are on the right track. You should think of starting your own theories on these things and post them on your blog post for the future generation's benefit.

Cheers
Ah i should have made that point clear. I meant to say - "travelling towards a girl who is waiting FOR you", Anyway ...

And yes me too.. I just was so taken by the flow of the post that i thought i could comment in the same genre ., Hope that s what i managed to do.

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